this year’s word

It’s so easy for me to scurry.

The kind of thing that happens late at night when I want to clear off the kitchen countertops so they’ll be clean first thing in the morning. And I spend some time doing that.

Then I notice that the cat needs to be fed and the dog needs water. So, I do that too.

Then when I get to the bathroom, I noticed the towels that you meant to fold earlier in the evening are still waiting there in a heap. Might as well fold them and take the basket to the laundry room.

And while I’m doing that I notice the last of the load of laundry is still in the washer, so I toss it in the dryer.

It’s like “when you give a mouse a cookie” only it’s “when you give a mom a basket of laundry.”

What I really need to do is get to bed, but somehow I’ve spent 45 minutes…scurrying.

So that brings up the question: how do I keep the main thing the main thing?

Focus.

It’s my word for 2018.

Choosing a word isn’t a resolution or unrealistic promise to myself (something that I inevitably end up ditching). Choosing a word means deciding on a guiding principle to consider throughout the year.

Focus.

But on what?

It’s impossible to focus on everything all at once, so I’ve got to choose.

What’s the main thing to focus on?

When I take pictures, if I’m going for a shot of the cardinal in the foreground, then the trees in the background will blur out. If I’m taking a picture of the moonrise on the horizon, then the flowers in the foreground are what will turn blurry.

Now, once I choose a main thing — the trick is to keep it the main thing. Otherwise, everything is blurry.

Focus.

When it’s bedtime, the main thing — the thing to focus on — is “getting to bed.” And by the same token, if cleaning up the kitchen or putting away the laundry is really that important it needs to be the focus of a time early in the evening.

Last year, my word was Clear. I worked all year to clear clutter and chaos. Closets and cupboards were cleaned and cleared. The shrub that I hated mowing around got moved someplace more convenient. Things that hadn’t been used were donated to various charities. The house feels lighter, and it’s easier to take care of.

Clear, clear, clear.

And through all the clearing, my word for 2018 revealed itself. There was no way to clear everything at once. I had to choose — to focus — on one thing at a time.

Focus.

My guiding thought for this year.

Focus: because there’s no way to do everything all at the same time.

Focus: because it gives me permission to let certain things face into the background in order to concentrate on other things.

Focus: because it requires making conscious decisions.

Focus: because it’s important to think ahead and figure out what’s important.

Focus: because it helps me make hard decisions when two or three or more things vie for your attention.

Focus means being in touch with my core values, so to make sure I’m keeping the main thing — the things I value most — the main thing.

I’m not much for New Year’s Resolutions. A year is a long time, and really — who knows what October will bring? But I like the idea of thinking ahead or having some sort of game plan for the year. So, instead of a resolution, several years ago I started picking out a New Year’s Word — one single word to direct my thinking for the upcoming 365 days.

The first time I did I, my word was easy. I was over-committed and my life felt way too much like the tail was in charge of the dog. How to stop it? My word for the year was “Simplify,” and it proved helpful. I got into the habit of thinking, “is this something that will simplify my life or complicate it?” If the answer was the latter, then I seriously reconsidered my actions.

I love quilts and applique needlework, and over the years, I’ve inherited finished quilt tops in need to quilting, plus cut out my own blocks and had them in half-finished piles. To make a dent on all these started but unfinished projects, my word during that year was “Finish.” The question I asked myself was “are you starting something new or finishing something old?” It worked! I hand-quilted a five-generation quilt top I’d had in a trunk since my grandmother died. I finished the memory quilt for my son that I made out of flannel receiving blankets we used when he was a baby and backed it with up-cycled blue jeans. Plus there were several other small projects that got done. Finish! It was a good year.

This year I had trouble settling on a word. I did some thinking on paper (a great tip I picked up from Jean Moroney @ Thinking Directions), and had it narrowed down to two: Fortify and Persist. My word is always a verb — something that I can actually DO, and I wanted a word to indicate a desire to shore up current foundations rather than plow new fields. But “persist” seemed to imply a negative (persisting despite adversity), and “fortify” made me think of castle walls and medieval warfare. I opted for “fortify,” then one afternoon a day or two later during my walk, the word “bolster” popped into my head.

Bolster?

Yes, that just might work. Bolster conveys the exact sentiment I want — plus I think it sounds kinda cute. There’s also a added double-meaning to it. As a verb “bolster” is all about fortifying and shoring up, but as a noun, it’s one of those cute tube-shaped pillows (like those in the picture from Pottery Barn) one that increases comfort as you relax. Bolstering up the foundations of my life will (hopefully) bring a sense of comfort during the coming year.

So there you have — this year’s word.

Bolster!