Gina Prosch

finding joy one day at a time

so what if they say no

What if…

Do you ever play the “what if…” game? You know the one: What if I do this…but then that happens? What if I do this other thing instead?

More than two decades ago, I decided to forego the doctorate in English and quit my dream job in academics to embrace an entrepreneurial (but largely uncertain) future.

There were lot of “what ifs” that played out in my head.

  • What if we don’t get any clients?
  • What if we go out of business?
  • What if we fail?
  • What if all our friends laugh at us?

And of course, those “what ifs” were negatives…because usually when I find myself playing “what if,” I tend to focus on a potentially negative outcome. 

Why is it so easy to let my imagination run wild in the direction of catastrophe? 

  • What if I spend $100 on this makeup, but I end up not liking it?
  • What if I try to make a challenging quilt, and I end up ruining a bunch of fabric?
  • What if we go on vacation, but we get hopelessly lost at some point along the way?

I can drive myself crazy (along with the rest of the people living in the house LOL!).  

But consider this: while the answer to the unasked question is always “no” what is the answer to the “what if” question?

The answer to “what if” questions are usually far more open ended, and —-by their very nature — potentially more positive.

I started thinking about “what if” questions like the fulcrum on a teeter totter.

What if for every potentially negative outcome I can imagine (teeter totter goes down), I also make a point of considering a potentially positive result (teeter totter goes up)?

  • What if I start a really challenging quilt, and it turns out to be stunning?
  • What if we go on vacation and have an absolutely wonderful time?
  • What if I buy the makeup and really love it … and it looks great on me? 

Certainly I’m not assured of a positive outcome just because I hope it comes true (if I were, I’d start buying lottery tickets!), but by the same token there’s no guarantee of a negative outcome either.

So the next time you find yourself with a “what if” negative, jump on the teeter totter and think of a positive “what it” to match it. 

What if it’s worth a shot?

What’s the Worst that Can Happen?

Our family loves visiting antique shops and estate sales, and even when our son, Wyatt, was really young, we’d take him shopping with us on the weekends.

Once when he was seven or eight, he didn’t have enough money to pay full price for a vintage train car that he really wanted.  We told him he could make an offer and coached him on what he might say.

Then he was on his own.  

We hid out of sight, and bold as brass he marched up to the counter and asked, “Excuse me sir, I’d like to make an offer on this train car. Would you be willing to take $12?”

He walked out of that antique shop the proud owner of a shiny, bright caboose, and he had money leftover in his pocket. 

From then on he was hooked. Now he never wants to pay full price, and haggling…well, that’s all part of the fun.  

I’ve never one to dicker over the price of things in antique shops, but these days, any time I’m reluctant to make an offer, I think of young Wyatt and say to myself, “What’s the worst that can happen?”

That’s easy — the worst that can happen is the seller won’t negotiate or wiggle on the price. 

If the seller says “no,” at that point, the ball is in my court. I’m in control. It’s up to me whether I want to pay full price or walk away from the sale altogether. 

And if I don’t ask? Well that’s easy: I can pay full price or walk out the door.

In learning to negotiate, I’ve learned to be more assertive about asking for what I want.

I want to pay $20, not $25.

I want to pay 15% less than the asking price.

I want to walk away from the sale with something bright and shiny and still have money in my pocket.

But saving a few bucks at the antique shop isn’t nearly as important as the larger life-lesson haggling has taught me

  • it doesn’t hurt to ask.
  • what’s the worst thing that can happen?
  • the answer to the unasked question is always NO.

So take a risk, make an offer, and see what happens.