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Gina Prosch

finding joy one day at a time

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Self-care

Watering The Grass

Sometimes when I’m not sure what to write (like today), I get out of the house to clear my head and hunt for ideas. 

Idea hunting is just like traditional hunting or fishing, only when I do it, it’s usually inside and air conditioned. Idea hunting means being quiet and attentive, listening carefully, and being ready to pounce when something interesting comes along.  

There’s also the thrill of the chase — sometimes I score, sometimes I come up empty.

Just like anglers have secret fishing holes or hunters have favorite deer stand locations, I have my own tried and true spots in the form of “my table” in a local coffee shop. Like a watering hole on the savanna draws animals in search of a drink, retirees faithfully congregate here each day to solve the world’s problems. 

Today was no exception.

I took my cup of coffee to my table and sat within easy earshot of six men hunched over their cups of coffee. I hadn’t been there long when one of them pipped up about “kids these days.” Since this guy had to be well into his 80s, “kids” covered a lot of territory.

My ears perked up.

“Kids these days!” He said, “Always complaining about the grass being greener for somebody else. They need to stop with the bellyaching and start watering the grass they got right now in their own yards.”

“Hmmm…” I thought, “Sounds interesting, maybe I can use that!”

Turns out, this guy knows a thing or two about watering grass and keeping it green.

See, his wife “had the cancer” and while she’s “doin’ pretty good right now,” she still has better days and worse days. 

Still he’s been “pissed as a couple of hound dogs fighting over a bone” because they ended up canceling the Caribbean cruise they’d been looking forward to last winter, and his wife still doesn’t feel ready to gear up for a big vacation. 

So one day last month, he decided to take matters into his own hands.

He waited for a day his wife felt really good, then he took her shopping. Together they picked out spiffy new outdoor furniture with big, comfy cushions, then his wife saw some knockout roses and pre-made planters so they got those, too. And while they were at it they even popped for a few more hummingbird feeders.  

He planted the roses close to where they like to sit on the patio, and the planters are scattered here and there, along with the bird feeders.

These days, most mornings and evenings, he and his wife enjoy life on their new and improved patio. They bring out a pot of French press coffee (mornings) or pitcher of iced tea (evenings) and watch the hummingbirds. “Those little bastards sure do know how to fight. They’re little and cute, but by God, they’re viscious! We stay busy just keeping the feeders filled.”

See? See what this guy did?

He watered his own grass. 

It really stinks when dreams crash and burn, or the best laid plans for the future land in a heap of rubble. 

I’m not suggesting those things don’t hurt, because I know from experience that they do. And I also know hurt doesn’t go away overnight. Nor should it. Dealing with major life events and traumas takes time.

But while I work through a life roll, while I’m processing a big disappointment, I always face loads of small, daily choices. And those choices can send me veering toward anger and despair or help me curve my trajectory toward joy.

Water the grass you’ve got right now — choose joy every chance you get.

Filed Under: Gina Prosch Blog Tagged With: Self-care, take care of yourself

Winter Lessons

If this winter — this long, cold, gray, snowy, disagreeable winter — has taught me anything, it’s the importance of accepting reality for what it is…not what I’d like it to be.

Believe me, if there were any way I could change reality to what I’d like it to be, the last six weeks since Groundhog Day would have been filled with serious sunshine and 70 degree temperatures.

Now on the plus side, this case of winter fatigue has gotten me thinking about life.

Over the last few weeks while I’ve longed for spring, I’ve internalized some winter lessons, and here’s what I’ve come up with. 

Dealing with winter weather is a great metaphor for dealing with difficult people and situations.

Weather is what the weather is. People and situations are what they are, too. 

But there are other things this past winter has taught me, too.

When I know we’ll be snowed in, I stock up on comfort food and supplies. I make sure I’ve got plenty of coffee and hot chocolate, potato chips and a cake mix on hand to make the time more cozy and fun.  

By the same token, when I know I’ll be encountering difficult people, I stock up on self-empathy and remind myself that, while I can’t change the “weather” this person gives off, I can alter the way I respond to it. 

When I know I’ve had enough of gray and dreary, it’s time to soak up some sun or seek out a change of scenery or location. 

So if continuing to serve on a particular committee or in a leadership position will lead  to “heavy weather” — it’s time to change “locations” and step back from things that lead to unnecessary stress. 

I’m still tired of winter, but then I do my best to remember what winter really is — a time when plants and tree look dormant, but they’re actually busy–getting ready for what comes next.

Maybe while watching the weather, that’s what I’ve been doing too.

Filed Under: Gina Prosch Blog Tagged With: hang on, heavy weather, Self-care

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