A few days ago I sent out three emails, each to a different venue, asking if they’d be interested in hosting me as a speaker with my presentation “Finding Joy When You’re Just Not Feelin’ It.”
What happened next was fascinating. I received each one of three possible types of response: Yes, No, and Maybe (or Nothing).
One messages is still in the wind and I haven’t heard back from it, and another was a rather curt rejection saying their venue was done with presentations on mindfulness and intentionality.
However — Huzzah!!! — the third response was the kind speakers like me live for: the “Oh, THAT sounds fabulous!!!!”
In fact, that third response actually came with an invitation to do the presentation in two different locations. How cool is that?!
So here’s the thought that occurred to me: what if I’d only sent out one message?
And what if that one message had gone out to Mr. Curt Rejection?
Chances are, I’d have thought my presentation topic was bad / dumb / uninteresting / pick your negative thought and put it here.
Fortunately, I’ve spent years teaching myself to practice positive reframing as a matter of course.
Even though it can be hard, frustrating, and sometimes seem totally unfair (why is it always up to me to figure out my own life?!?), I always try to step back and use some perspective to consider a bigger, more complete, picture of the situation—whatever the situation may be.
I use reminders like these:
- One of anything is not random.
- One block is not the whole quilt.
- One flower is not the whole garden.
- One star is not the Milky Way.
- One chapter is not the whole book.
Here’s another thing I’ve learned from years of after the fact (reactive) reframing: pulling back and gaining perspective leads me to cast a wider net from the get-go.
When I’m on the lookout for something good, it helps to have more material to work with.
And since I’m a quilter, I know having plenty of material is always a good thing. 🙂
What are some ticklers you could use to remind yourself to cast a wide net?
Oh, and if any of you would like to schedule “Finding Joy When You’re Just Not Feelin’ It” for a conference, workshop, or quilting retreat, please drop an email my way at firstname.lastname@example.org.