attention management

What gets your full attention?

A few years ago in my eagerness to “get more done” and “stop wasting time,” I read a book about time management. It got great reviews, and I hoped–as I juggled–it would help me do a better job keeping all the most important balls in the air.

The author suggested that if there were things that you could do in just a few minutes, you should DO them and get them DONE, rather than add them to a long list of tasks.

Sounds logical, right?

If it takes a bit to find the pen and paper for the to-do list, then another moment or two to write the task down on the list…then why not just DO the actual thing and be DONE?

It made sense to me.

Unfortunately, as I implemented this strategy it turned into something more along the lines of “if you give a Gina a five minute job…she’ll find another five minute job to go along with it….”

Waiting for the coffee to make?

Hurry and unload the dishwasher.

And before you know it the coffee is done…and starting to cool…because I’m still unloading the dishwasher, putting everything away, wiping off the kitchen countertops, and wondering if the dryer is finished.

It was even worse at work because, while I could respond to emails in less than five minutes, before I finished three or four or ten more had dropped into the Inbox to take their place.

The five minute task turned into a fifty minute frenzy, and it soon became clear that I was making myself nuts.

I realized I was keeping busy, but I wasn’t getting anything done because I was trying to fit everything into five-minute pigeonholes.

I wasn’t giving my full attention to where I was in the moment because I was worrying about the next thing…the next moment.

Which got me wondering what it means to give something my full attention.

Full attention? Complete focus.

The kind of focus your cat has when she’s plotting her attack on the foot that’s moving under the covers.

I remembered a great piece of advice I got while I was pregnant. A friend of mine said, “When your son comes to show you a dandelion or a drawing, put down your phone or whatever it is you’re doing, then fold your hands together so you’re not distracted by something else, and give him your full attention.”

When he was little, I came back to that advice again and again. And it was so much harder than I thought it would be.

• Because the “hey mom, look at this” came while the laundry basket was full and hot out of the dryer.

• Because the “you gotta come outside and see this” happened right after I finally poured myself that cup of lukewarm coffee and sat down for a minute.

• Because nothing brings me back to the moment after a few distracted um-hmmms quite like hearing “Gee, thanks Mom!” and having absolutely no idea what I’ve just agreed to.

And in this age of hyper connectivity — with texts, chats, and social media — it’s only getting harder.

But while I have given up on the five minute tasks, I have not given up on the goal of focus. Especially where my friends and family are concerned.

Give it a whirl this week. When someone talks to you, fold your hands and give them your full attention.

See what kind of difference it can make.

Keeping the Main Thing the Main Thing

The other day I was talking with a friend who lamented the difficulty she experiences each day in staying focused on the most important things in her life.

Too often, she gets lost in a sea of details and little things.

I can relate.

There are so many distractions: traffic, telephones, social media, and schedules that are out of control.

Everywhere I look there are too many choices and each one of those areas demands that I make a decision…right now!

How am I supposed to keep my attention focused on the priorities in my life?

That’s where attention management comes into play. Stated most simply, attention management is taking active control of the things you pay attention to.

Attention management means keeping the main thing the main thing, deliberately focusing your attention in a direction of your own choosing.

Want to be better at attention management?

Here are some easy steps you can take to help you improve your attention management skills.

Identify What You Actually Do vs. What You Want to Do

Figure out where you are right now.

What are you paying attention to these days?

All too often the life we say we want for ourselves doesn’t match up with the reality of what happens each day.

I may say I want to spend more time writing or exercising, but another week goes by with only a few words written and nothing logged in my exercise journal.

Why not? Where does all the time go?

Take a week and do a time audit — write down everything you do every single day and how much time you spent doing that task.

(Hint: It’s fine to lump “make dinner – 30 minutes” into a single item rather than “chop onion – 5 minutes,” “peel carrots – 3 minutes,” and “slice carrots – 4 minutes.” But “make dinner,” “eat dinner,” and clean up after dinner” are three totally separate items.)

Making a list like this is helpful in several ways. First it helps you realize in concrete terms just how much you DO accomplish every single day. Next, it shows you exactly how you’re spending your time and where you may be burning daylight.

Eliminate Easy Distractions

Each decision we make takes a certain amount of mental energy.

From the moment you wake up in the morning you’re hit with decisions needing to be made. Do you have time for breakfast, and if so, what do you want to eat? What should you wear to work? Do you have your gym clothes in your workout bag? Do you need to make your lunch or should you go out to eat?

The longer the day goes on the more the decisions you need to make pile up, one atop the other. As soon as you get to work, should you check your email or get started planning for the day or jump right in where you left off last night when you left work? It’s not even 8:30am, and already you’ve made hundreds of small decisions. It’s no reason you’re overwhelmed.

Voluntarily cutting back on your options means you have fewer decisions to make, and it also means you have more time and mental energy to think about the remaining decisions before you.

Do you need eight breakfast cereals to choose from? Do you have too many inboxes to check?

Take a look at your life. Where can you cut down on the inconsequential decision making you do each day?

Make life easier on yourself simply by cutting out unnecessary extras.

Practice Big Picture Thinking

Once you’ve eliminated all the easy distractions, it doesn’t take long to see that, unfortunately, there are still plenty of things vying for your attention.

Using big picture thinking tools keeps those things manageable.

Big picture thinking means looking for overarching ideas that unite things that seem to be unrelated.

For example: Peanut butter, oak trees, and honey bees might not immediately seem to be related to one another, but for some people the big picture is “things I’m allergic to.”

Or, if you eat three meals each day, big picture thinking — writing a menu for the week — means there are 21 fewer decisions you will need to make during the next seven days.

It’s far easier to keep track of one thing — “Things I’m Allergic To” or “Menu for the Week” than it is trying to keep track of a dozen different things that give you an allergic reaction or three food plans each day.

Bundling things together into like categories helps you manage the sheer number of things you need to pay attention to.

These are just a few things you can do to help with attention management. And then there’s social media! A topic worthy of its own blog post. So please stay tuned for more about attention management and the positive reframe.

If you’d like to learn more, please drop me a line at gina@ginaprosch.com. I am available for individual consult/coaching session as well as professional, in-office training sessions.

Focus

It’s so easy for me to scurry.

The kind of thing that happens late at night when I want to clear off the kitchen countertops so they’ll be clean first thing in the morning. And I spend some time doing that.

Then I notice that the cat needs to be fed and the dog needs water. So, I do that too.

Then when I get to the bathroom, I noticed the towels that you meant to fold earlier in the evening are still waiting there in a heap. Might as well fold them and take the basket to the laundry room.

And while I’m doing that I notice the last of the load of laundry is still in the washer, so I toss it in the dryer.

It’s like “when you give a mouse a cookie” only it’s “when you give a mom a basket of laundry.”

What I really need to do is get to bed, but somehow I’ve spent 45 minutes…scurrying.

So that brings up the question: how do I keep the main thing the main thing?

Focus.

It’s my word for 2018.

Choosing a word isn’t a resolution or unrealistic promise to myself (something that I inevitably end up ditching). Choosing a word means deciding on a guiding principle to consider throughout the year.

Focus.

But on what?

It’s impossible to focus on everything all at once, so I’ve got to choose.

What’s the main thing to focus on?

When I take pictures, if I’m going for a shot of the cardinal in the foreground, then the trees in the background will blur out. If I’m taking a picture of the moonrise on the horizon, then the flowers in the foreground are what will turn blurry.

Now, once I choose a main thing — the trick is to keep it the main thing. Otherwise, everything is blurry.

Focus.

When it’s bedtime, the main thing — the thing to focus on — is “getting to bed.” And by the same token, if cleaning up the kitchen or putting away the laundry is really that important it needs to be the focus of a time early in the evening.

Last year, my word was Clear. I worked all year to clear clutter and chaos. Closets and cupboards were cleaned and cleared. The shrub that I hated mowing around got moved someplace more convenient. Things that hadn’t been used were donated to various charities. The house feels lighter, and it’s easier to take care of.

Clear, clear, clear.

And through all the clearing, my word for 2018 revealed itself. There was no way to clear everything at once. I had to choose — to focus — on one thing at a time.

Focus.

My guiding thought for this year.

Focus: because there’s no way to do everything all at the same time.

Focus: because it gives me permission to let certain things face into the background in order to concentrate on other things.

Focus: because it requires making conscious decisions.

Focus: because it’s important to think ahead and figure out what’s important.

Focus: because it helps me make hard decisions when two or three or more things vie for your attention.

Focus means being in touch with my core values, so to make sure I’m keeping the main thing — the things I value most — the main thing.