If this winter — this long, cold, gray, snowy, disagreeable winter — has taught me anything, it’s the importance of accepting reality for what it is…not what I’d like it to be.
Believe me, if there were any way I could change reality to what I’d like it to be, the last six weeks since Groundhog Day would have been filled with serious sunshine and 70 degree temperatures.
Now on the plus side, this case of winter fatigue has gotten me thinking about life.
Over the last few weeks while I’ve longed for spring, I’ve internalized some winter lessons, and here’s what I’ve come up with.
Dealing with winter weather is a great metaphor for dealing with difficult people and situations.
Weather is what the weather is. People and situations are what they are, too.
But there are other things this past winter has taught me, too.
When I know we’ll be snowed in, I stock up on comfort food and supplies. I make sure I’ve got plenty of coffee and hot chocolate, potato chips and a cake mix on hand to make the time more cozy and fun.
By the same token, when I know I’ll be encountering difficult people, I stock up on self-empathy and remind myself that, while I can’t change the “weather” this person gives off, I can alter the way I respond to it.
When I know I’ve had enough of gray and dreary, it’s time to soak up some sun or seek out a change of scenery or location.
So if continuing to serve on a particular committee or in a leadership position will lead to “heavy weather” — it’s time to change “locations” and step back from things that lead to unnecessary stress.
I’m still tired of winter, but then I do my best to remember what winter really is — a time when plants and tree look dormant, but they’re actually busy–getting ready for what comes next.
Maybe while watching the weather, that’s what I’ve been doing too.
I am taking this to heart,, this winter has been harder than others. My Mom died in early December and winter was already in full swing. Although we spent a month in South Florida in January the benefits of that was negated somewhat by the 4 day road trip to Calgary in early February to empty out her house and the 6 day road trip home. Was lovely to reconnect with my brother, but the rift with my sister has grown to a huge chasm that has proved impossible to get over no matter what I do. The snow here is almost to my shoulders and today is another grey day but your words have helped me get moving and that is important. The header I took yesterday on the ice almost did me in emotionally and at 63 I wonder how many more falls I can take like that? Rhetorical question..LOL
But you have encouraged me to go out and get moving, maybe I will buy some grocery store tulips today.
I am so sorry for the loss of your mother and subsequent family issues that have arisen. What you’ve described with your sister is a really hard situation, and I definitely think some grocery story tulips are in order to brighten your week. Do all you can do to be good to yourself — and let me know how things go moving forward.
I, too, have a close relative that has rained-down practically a monsoon of heavy weather on everyone close to him.
How do I avoid a son who seems misguided in how he perceives others and strikes out to protect himself when he needs no protection at all? In spite of how hurtful he has been, I know he is hurting himself.
Since I have already seen the rainbow through the eyes of forgiveness, I am looking forward to time and the promise of abundant sunshine to come.
Thank you for your essay and your insight that lets me put into words what emotions sometimes can hide.